Glossary
Talking about sex is not easy. Words mean different things to different people. This glossary includes technical terms relating to sex as well as some slang and colloquial words. Warning! You may find some words vulgar or offensive. Such words are added not to suggest that they become standardized but to equip you to understand terms that are often used in popular culture. I also invite you to think about the words you use to casually talk about sex—what values and assumptions do you convey with your language?
Please note: This glossary, extracted from What's Love Got To Do With It, is by no means exhaustive. The book version contains more slang and colloquial terms, as well as additional technical and philosophical vocabulary.
A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | U | V | W
A
abortion: removal or expulsion of an embryo or fetus, which can occur spontaneously (miscarriage) or be artificially induced through chemical, surgical, or other means.
abstinence: avoidance of sexual behavior. For some this refers exclusively to intercourse; others define it broadly as avoiding all forms of sexual activity.
adolescence: the period between childhood and adulthood when the physical changes of puberty initiate a transition in all spheres of development.
AIDS: acronym for acquired immune deficiency syndrome, a virus spread through the exchange of bodily fluids that destroys the immune system.
amenorrhea: absence of menstruation.
anal intercourse: inserting a man’s penis into the anus of his partner. Also any sex act involving the anus.
anal stage: Freud’s second stage of psychosexual growth, in which pleasure is derived from holding or releasing bowel movements. Freud believed that this holding style in physical behavior was related to one’s emotional management of control.
analingus: oral stimulation of the anus.
androgyny: having psychological and physical attributes of both men and women.
anorgasmia: the inability to achieve orgasm. This lack usually has roots in other physical, psychological, or relational problems.
artificial insemination: medical intervention to inject sperm into a woman’s uterus, for the purpose of conception.
asexual: experiencing no sexual attraction toward either males or females.
attachment: emotional connection between people, e.g., parent and child, or quality of connection in an intimate relationship. Attachment theory points out that romantic relationships are greatly affected
by the connection of a child with his or her parents.
autoeroticism: self-stimulation or
masturbation.
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B
bisexuality: sexual attraction toward both
men and women.
bondage: the practice of tying people up or
restraining another person for sexual
pleasure.
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C
castration: removal of a man’s testes;
castration anxiety in psychoanalysis refers
to a man’s fear of losing his genitals and
erotic interest.
cervix: the lower, narrow end of the uterus
that projects into the vagina.
chlamydia: the most prevalent sexually
transmitted pathogen, causing infection
in the genitourinary tract for both men
and women.
climacteric: menopause for women; a period
of reduced sexual activity for men.
clitoris: a woman’s sexual organ that focuses
sexual sensation, often compared to a
man’s penis but without direct
reproductive function.
closet homosexual: one who does not
openly express his or her same-sex
orientation.
coitus: sexual intercourse as a man inserts
his penis into a woman’s vagina.
coitus interruptus: withdrawal of the penis
during intercourse as an attempt to
avoid conception. This method of birth
control is highly ineffective and does not
prevent STIs.
condom: a sheath made from latex or a
membrane worn during coitus (or oral
sex) over the penis to prevent
pregnancy and the transmittal of HIV
and other sexually transmitted
infections. Note that there are also
female condoms.
congenital: acquired by the fetus in the
womb and present at birth, e.g., heart
defects that a child is born with.
conversion therapy: practice that attempts
to change a person’s sexual orientation
from homosexual to heterosexual. Also
known as reparative therapy, this therapy
is highly controversial with unproved
efficacy.
corpora covernosa: spongy tissue in both
the clitoris and penis that becomes
engorged with blood and stiffens in
sexual arousal.
copulation: sexual intercourse. From the
Latin copulare, meaning “to unite” or “connect.”
corona: the ridge of the penis, separating the
glans from the body. From the Latin
corona, for “crown.”
covert sensitization: behavior modification
in which an aversive fantasy is paired
with a paraphilic fantasy in an effort to
extinguish the paraphilic fantasy.
cross-dressing: wearing garments of the
opposite sex.
cunnilingus: oral sex acted upon a female;
sexual arousal involving licking and
sucking a women’s genitalia (vulva).
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D
date rape: rape that occurs during a social
encounter in which the perpetrator is
known to the victim. Legally, the crime is
considered to be just as serious as a rape
perpetrated by a stranger.
delayed ejaculation: the inability to ejaculate or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm despite the presence of normal desire and stimulation.
dental dam: a small sheet of latex used to
prevent the spread of STIs during oral sex.
Depo-Provera: a highly effective injection
that blocks ovulation and conception.
Sometimes also used to suppress sex
drive in men.
diaphragm: a shallow rubber cup, fitted to
the contours of a woman’s vagina, that is
coated with spermicide and inserted
before coitus to prevent conception.
dildo: a sex toy that can be inserted
vaginally or anally. Often, but not
necessarily, shaped like a penis.
drag queen: a gay male who dresses as a
female, often for theatrical purposes.
dysmenorrhea: painful cramps experienced
during menstruation.
dyspareunia: genital pain associated with sexual intercourse
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E
ejaculation: the expulsion of semen.
Electra complex: a girl’s attraction to her
father. In psychoanalytic theory, a
conflict of the phallic stage of girls, in
which they wish to possess their father
and perceive their mother as a rival, as
portrayed in the ancient Greek drama
Electra. This conflict is analogous to the
boy’s Oedipus complex.
embryo: fertilized egg until eight weeks
gestation.
erectile disorder: difficulty achieving
erection for men that can be related to
multiple and various factors.
erection: the aroused state of a penis
because of vasocongestion of the tissue
and engorgement by blood.
erogenous zone: a part of the body that
produces sexual excitement when
stimulated.
estrogen: hormone produced by a woman’s
ovaries and in small amounts by both
men and women in the adrenal glands
and by men in the testes.
exhibitionist: a person who exposes
genitalia compulsively or in inappropriate
settings to obtain sexual gratification and
to shock and startle victims.
exploitation: the act of using another for
one’s own advantage.
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F
fallopian tubes: the passageway the egg
follows to the uterus.
fellatio: oral stimulation of a man’s genitals.
fetishism: condition in which sexual arousal
involves inanimate objects or a particular
body part.
fetus: term to describe the embryo after the
eighth week of pregnancy.
foreplay: stimulating sexual interactions that
set the stage for intercourse.
foreskin: loose skin of the penis that folds
over the glans; the foreskin may be cut in
circumcision.
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G
gay: describes a person whose attractions are
to people of the same sex. Gay is more
often used to describe men, while lesbian is
often the preferred term for women.
Sometimes used pejoratively for effeminate
men. Derogatory slang referring to gay
men includes fag, queen, fairy, homo.
gender: one’s cultural, social, and legal status
as a man or woman.
gender dysphoria: the feeling that one’s
gender does not match the sex of one’s
body. Also referred to as gender identity
disorder.
gender identity: one’s subjective sense of
being a man or woman.
glans: the rounded end of the penis or
clitoris.
gonads: sex glands. A man’s gonads are
testes; a woman’s gonads are ovaries.
gonorrhea: an STI caused by a bacterium
that creates a burning sensation at
urination. From the Greek gonos, meaning “seed,” and rheo, meaning “to flow”; the
ancient Greeks erroneously interpreted gonorrhea as a loss of seminal fluid. If
untreated, gonorrhea can cause pelvic
inflammatory disease.
grinding: rubbing against one another;
mimicking intercourse for sexual
excitement, often while dancing.
G-spot: a sexually sensitive area on the front
wall of the vagina named after Ernest
Gräfenberg, who identified this as an
erogenous zone. Some report that this area
provides a “deeper orgasm” and female
ejaculation, and men have identified a
similar area near the prostate gland.
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H
hermaphrodite: person who possesses both
ovarian and testicular tissue (named after
the Greek gods Hermes and Aphrodite).
herpes: painful viral infection causing
blisters, herpes I (oral herpes), and
herpes II (genital herpes). From the
Greek herpein, meaning “to creep.”
heterosexism: thinking in exclusively
heterosexual terms about sexuality
specifically, and human experience
generally, thereby neglecting and
invalidating the existence of homosexual
and bisexual attraction, behavior, and
relationships.
heterosexual: having an erotic attraction to,
and preference for, romantic and/or sexual
relationships with the opposite gender.
HIV: acronym for human
immunodeficiency virus, the virus that
is the precursor for AIDS.
homophobia: fear of homosexuals. From the
Greek homos, meaning “same,” and
phobia, meaning “fear.”
homosexual: having an erotic attraction to,
and preference for, romantic and/or sexual
relationships with one’s own gender. In
certain contexts, it is used as a slur. The
term is usually used in clinical speech; in
more common usage the preferred terms
include gay, lesbian (as a noun or
adjective), or same-sex (adjective). From
the Greek homos, meaning “same,” not
from the Latin homos, which means “man.”
hormone: secretion from a gland that
regulates various body functions. From
the Greek hormon, meaning “to set in
motion,” “to stimulate,” or “to excite.”
hymen: thin membrane partly covering the
opening to the vagina. May be broken
during sexual intercourse or other
physical activity such as sports.
hypoactive sexuality: less than normal drive
that contributes to sexual dysfunction.
hysterectomy: surgical removal of the uterus.
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I
id: from Freud, a mental structure driven by
primary drives for gratification.
impotence: difficulty achieving and
sustaining erections sufficient for
intercourse. Because of the pejorative
connotation of this term, this word has
been replaced in popular and medical
discourse by male erectile disorder or
erectile dysfunction.
incest: sexual relationship or marriage
involving those in a family (blood)
relationship that is prohibited and illegal.
From the Latin in, meaning “not,” and
cestus, meaning “chaste.”
intercourse: sexual activity between two
people, usually involving a penis inserted
into a vagina.
intimacy: feelings of connectedness marked
by sharing innermost affections, feelings,
and thoughts. This chosen state of
openness and vulnerability occurs in
secure relationships.
IUD (intrauterine device): device (loop,
coil, or shield) inserted into the uterus to
prevent the egg from implanting.
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L
labia: folds (labia majora and minora) that
run down the mons along the vulva.
latency: the fourth stage in Freud’s model of
psychosexual development between the
ages of 8 and 12; “the quiet before the
storm” preceding puberty.
lesbian: a female who is homosexual; a girl
or woman who has significant sexual or
romantic attractions toward other
women. From the Greek Lesbos, an
island in the Aegean Sea where the poet
Sappho ran a school for girls for whom
she expressed passion.
LGBT: acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual,
and transgender.
libido: psychoanalytic term referring to one’s
sexual drive and desire.
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M
maidenhead: condition of virginity; hymen.
masochist: person who is sexually gratified
by experiencing emotional and/or
physical pain and humiliation.
masturbation: sexual self-stimulation by
touching or rubbing one’s own genitals
for pleasure.
ménage à trois: sex involving three people.
From the French ménage, meaning “household,” and trois, meaning “three”—
household of three. The “household of
three” comes from the fact that a ménage
à trois was typically a husband and wife
couple with a (live-in) lover.
menarche: the onset of menstruation.
menopause: the end of menstruation.
menstruation: the cyclical bleeding in
females that results from shedding the
uterine lining (endometrium).
mons: a mound of fatty tissue covering the
pubic area in women.
morning-after pill: estrogen pill taken after
coitus that inhibits pregnancy by
preventing a fertilized egg from
implanting in the uterus.
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nocturnal emission: involuntary ejaculation
of seminal fluid while asleep. Also
referred to as a wet dream, it is not
necessarily related to the individual
dream content.
nymphomaniac: a woman with an excessive,
insatiable sexual appetite or drive.
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Oedipus complex: a boy’s attraction to his
mother. In psychoanalytic theory, this is a
conflict to be resolved by boys, who wish
to possess their mother yet perceive their
father as a rival (the analogous conflict
for girls is the Electra complex). Derived
from the ancient Greek tragedy in which
King Oedipus kills his father and marries
his mother.
onanism: coitus interruptus. The term is
derived from Onan in the Hebrew
scriptures, who interrupted intercourse, “spilling his seed.” This reference is the
basis for those who point to biblical
sanctions against masturbation.
openly gay: describes those who do not hide
their being lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
oral sex: sexual stimulation involving the
genitals of one partner and the mouth of
the other.
oral stage: Freud’s first stage of psychosexual
development, related to trust. Refers to
the infant’s oral connection with the
mother through breastfeeding.
orgasm: the climax of sexual excitement.
orgasmic disorder: persistent or recurrent delay or absence of orgasm following the sexual arousal stage.
orgy: unbridled sex among many
participants.
outercourse: forms of sexual activity that do
not involve the exchange of bodily fluids,
such as hugging, masturbation, and
rubbing (sometimes known as “dry sex”).
ovaries: almond-shaped organs that produce
egg cells and the hormones estrogen and
progesterone.
ovulation: the release of an egg from the
ovary.
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paraphilia: a diagnostic category referring to
atypical patterns of sexual arousal, which
do not conform to social norms. These
urges are recurrent and central to a
paraphiliac’s excitement. From the Greek
para, meaning “to the side of,” and philos,
meaning “love of another.”
pedophilia: a paraphilia involving sexual
desire for children.
penetration: entrance of the penis, fingers,
or sex toys into any orifice (vagina, anus,
mouth).
penis: the male organ for sexual intercourse.
From the Latin penis, which means “tail.”
perineum: the area between the anus and
penis or vulva. From the Greek peri,
meaning “around,” and ineum, meaning “to empty out.”
petting: physical gestures in romantic
exchange; often differentiated as “light”
or “heavy,” terms which distinguish
contact above the waist from contact
below the waist.
phallic stage: Freud’s third stage of
psychosexual development involving the
genitalia, specifically the penis, related to
pleasure and emotional power,
aggression, and dominance.
phallus: the penis or something symbolizing
the penis.
pheromones: body chemicals that attract
sexual partners, particularly profound in
nonhuman species.
Pill, the: a synthetic hormonal substance
that effectively prevents ovulation. This is
an effective method for contraception.
PMS: acronym for premenstrual syndrome;
the physical and emotional changes
women experience during the three to
fourteen days prior to the start of each
menstrual cycle.
pornography: depictions of erotic or lewd
material designed to cause sexual arousal.
Soft-core pornography features nudity,
sexually suggestive behavior, and
simulated or veiled sex; hardcore
pornography contains visible aroused
genitalia and penetration.
positions: sex positions; the placement of
bodies during intercourse.
premature ejaculation: a lack of ejaculatory control in men which interferes with one or both partners' emotional or sexual well-being.
priapism: a medical condition in which a man's penis remains erect for more than four hours, even without sexual stimulation.
primary sexual characteristics: physical
characteristics that differentiate men and
women, specifically those directly
involved in sexual reproduction, such as
sex organs.
progesterone: hormonal substance that
prepares the uterus for implantation and
maintains pregnancy.
prophylactic: condom. From the Greek
phylacto, meaning “to prevent;” so called
because of its use in preventing
pregnancy and the transmission of
various STIs.
prostaglandins: hormones that may cause
muscle contractions associated with
menstrual pain.
prostate gland: chestnut-sized gland in
males, connected to the neck of the
bladder and vas deferens, that stores and
secretes alkaline fluid and enzymes that
make up one-third of the seminal fluid.
psychosexual: relating sexual development
to psychological factors.
puberty: biological sexual transition from
childhood to adulthood. From the Latin
pubertas, meaning “ripe old age.”
pubic hair: secondary sexual characteristic of
hair around genitals developed in puberty.
pubic lice: small parasitic insects that
inhabit pubic hair. Also known as crabs.
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rape: forcible, nonconsensual sexual act.
refractory period: period of time, such as
after orgasm, when person is not
responsive to sexual stimulation.
relationship: an emotional and/or sexual connection between two people.
rhythm method: ineffective method for
contraception where partners attempt to
schedule sexual activity around the
woman’s monthly cycle, avoiding sex at
times when the egg is most likely to be
fertilized.
RU-486: drug (mifepristone) that induces
menstruation by blocking absorption of
progesterone, which prevents the uterine
lining from supporting the embryo, thereby
inducing abortion of the embryo/fetus.
Sometimes referred to as the abortion pill.
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sadist: person who derives sexual pleasure
from inflicting physical and emotional
pain on others.
scrotum: the pouch that hangs at the base of
the penis and contains the testicles.
semen: thick, white, milky liquid ejaculated
from the penis that contains sperm.
sex: characteristics that define humans as
male or female; often refers to the
anatomical structures involved in
reproduction and sexual pleasure. Also
refers to acts involving the sex organs,
especially coitus.
sexism: gender-based prejudice.
sexual aversion: persistent and recurrent extreme avoidance of sexual contact, which may affect parts or all areas of sexuality.
sexual cephalalgia: headache or head pain occasioned by sexual orgasm.
sexual compulsivity: though not formally a recognized medical condition, a recurrent, persistent, and repetitive pattern of sexual thoughts and activities that interferes with normal daily life.
sexual orientation: the direction of a
person’s sexual attraction, in terms of
whether the person is attracted to
members of the same and/or opposite
gender. Sexual orientation can be
described as heterosexual (straight),
bisexual, or homosexual (gay or lesbian).
This term is considered more appropriate
than the term sexual preference, which
implies that a person chooses to be
straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
sexuality: all the attitudes, feelings, and
behavior associated with sex.
shaft: body of the penis that expands as a
result of vasocongestion.
sodomy: definition varies by community; a
range of sexual acts, which can include
anal sex, intercourse with animals, oral
sex, and homosexual acts.
statutory rape: legal term for sexual
intercourse with a minor. The definition
of minor varies from state to state.
STD: acronym for sexually transmitted
disease; diseases such as gonorrhea and
syphilis that are spread almost exclusively
through vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and
anal sex. Also known as STIs (sexually transmitted infections).
sterilization: surgical techniques such as
vasectomy and tubal ligation that prevent
sperm from reaching ova.
straight: heterosexual.
superego: in Freud’s theory, the
psychological structure that functions as a
moral guardian and establishes high
standards for behavior.
syphilis: sexually transmitted bacterial
disease, characterized by sores called
chancres. If left untreated, the disease may
render a person insane, blind, crippled or
dead; the disease can be treated with
antibiotics.
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testicles: male sex glands that produce
testosterone.
testosterone: primary hormone associated
with sexual desire. While predominant in
men, women also manufacture
testosterone.
transgender: term describing those whose
gender identity differs from the sex they
were assigned at birth.
transsexual: outdated term originating in
the medical and psychological
communities describing a person who
identifies as a member of the gender
opposite to the one assigned at birth; the
term currently in use is transgender.
transvestite: person, usually heterosexual,
who derives sexual pleasure from wearing
garments of the opposite sex; not to be
confused with a transsexual or
transgender person.
tubal ligation: sterilization operation that
involves cutting or tying the fallopian
tubes.
tumescence: swelling or engorgement of the
penis. From the Latin tumere, meaning “to swell.”
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urethra: canal leading from the bladder to
the urethral opening in both males and
females. While this tube carries both
urine and semen in men, it is not
possible for both to be released during
intercourse.
uterus: hollow, muscular, pear-shaped organ
where fertilized ovum implants and
develops until birth.
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vagina: tubular organ connected to uterus.
From the Latin vagina, for “sheath.”
vaginismus: painful, involunary contractions of the outer third of the vagina during attempted penetration.
vas deferens: tube that extends from testicle
to prostate gland, which is responsible for
transporting sperm and ejaculatory fluid.
vasectomy: male sterilization in which vas
deferens are cut or tied to block transport
of sperm.
vibrator: electric or battery-operated
vibrating device used for sexual
stimulation.
virgin: person who has not had sexual
relations. In colloquial parlance, a
sexually inexperienced person.
voyeurism: a paraphilia in which an individual derives sexual pleasure from observing others' bodies or sexual activities.
vulva: external genitalia of women.
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withdrawal: ineffective contraceptive
method of removing the penis from the
vagina prior to ejaculation. See also coitus
interruptus.
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